Oh my god. This is just so….. fucking funny! Bwahahahaha!
Okay, for those unwilling to click the link, the story is about a man who died of deep vein thrombosis because he sat and played Xbox for twenty, count ‘em twenty, frikkin hours. Dude, get up and get a soda. The real funny kicker was that the guy was about to go off and “study” video game design at a university, which means that if he hadn’t died here he would have just died later, from the same thing. Hello natural selection. The family is trying to raise awareness for “the health risks of playing online computer games”, which is kind of like raising awareness for the health risk of headbutting bulls: it’s not necessarily the bull’s fault. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the family, this just seems like one of those “the universe despises you, Timmy” moments.
If you’re so deep in your fantasy world that you forget to get up and eat or use the bathroom, it’s probably best that you go softly now, as opposed to in 15 years when you’re paunchy, balding, alone and ugly. Die beautiful, baby.
Really? We got him? Just like that?
Fuck, just kill the Roadrunner why don’t you? On the other hand, suck it Illuminati theorists, hahahahaha!
Fffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuckkkkkk! Why couldn’t we leave them alone? Why couldn’t we let them do it by themselves? The Middle East isn’t as backwards as people think, they have the technology and wherewithal to free themselves, why the fuck are we involved? What happens if the country splits and we have one that can’t exist without us and one that hates our guts with a fiery passion? (Hemhem, Korea!) This is a stupid fucking idea, and don’t give me any bullshit about oil, I know Libya has nothing to do with it besides an excuse. We’re still in the tank after the first war, how could we possibly afford this one? This is the national equivalent of a professional boxer breaking up a slap-fight between two kids by 123-ing one of them, does that sound right? What happened to the usual plan of secretly sending weapons to the rebels through a third party, Wikileaks hasn’t ruined that! This is so not what this country needed, this is exactly what made Americans hate Bush, we are not World Police! We were finally starting to fix our image and then we start the same bullshit as before; nice to know that we’re like a kid that tries on Mommy’s clothes and thinks we’re adults, aka stupid!
It’s nice to see Rand Paul toeing the Libertarian line; to see someone representing by our political book is such a rare sight. At its very base, the Libertarian goal is the dissolution of the American Empire, and better to do it ourselves than be forced to do it once we overstep our boundaries and grow indolent, inviting our own destruction. A reduced Superpower is preferable to a defunct one. When will I be happy? When Guam and Puerto Rico and all other commonwealths of the United States are full members of the United States. If Israel wants our money it can start singing Oh Say Can You See.
PETA once again releases an inappropriate ad campaign. Does lack of meat disrupt the mental filter? Does excessive fiber flush tact from the body? Or are all vegetarians and vegans simply natural pariahs looking for a socially acceptable holier-than-thou hobby to shock and annoy us with?
A ridiculous concept has been suffusing the news lately known as “emerging adulthood.” What is this? It is the premise that being listless and uncoordinated in your early twenties is a good thing. Basically, the enshrining of slacker-zen.
All of the articles that cover the subject assume that it is a wonderful thing for twenzies to be living at home with their parents, still stuck in college, and working half-shifts at the local fast-food joint; you know, the kind of thing it was barely okay for you to be doing your senior-year summer fifteen years ago.
The underlying theme of emerging adulthood is that young people are getting the chance to decide where they are going in life, and to have a few years off from responsibility before diving back into the waters of life. And like all things proposed by psychologists in their off-time, it’s complete swill.
One author, Robin Henig, posits that this is a natural state of being that has been repressed over the centuries and is developing because there is now the opportunity. She implores us to remember how children and adolescents were freed from responsibility and to tender the same to the technically mature.
there was a time before the periods of adolescence and even childhood were recognized, a dark age when people had to marry and bear children young, start working early and never stop, and otherwise do the things that we can now put off; otherwise, they would starve to death or be eaten by bears. Because these young people were not free to choose these burdens for themselves, they were never truly happy. But then man developed technology, and through it, luxury and a growing GDP, and found that he no longer had to subject himself to the grinding impositions of nature for his entire life.
What Henig and many like her fail to realize is that the emergence of adolescence is not a positive occurrence. Numerous articles have already long since been written on the subject focusing on the mistake that extended enforced infancy turned out to be. Articles talking about how minimum-wage, child-labor, and universal-education laws have castrated the young, cutting them off at the knees and forcing them to rely on their parents for longer and longer times. Every one of these writers that enjoys the idea of emerging adulthood runs off the principle of Weltschmerz to a paranoid degree. They all believe that to experience pain is to become a worse person; those who never experience any kind of defeat or disappointment become the best people. It is the rejection of exceptionalism and the unwavering acceptance of blank-slate ideology. It is this worldview that fueled participation trophies and no child left behind, helicopter parenting and baby-Mozart. It is the idea that life can only harm us, that we have lost Eden and can never get it back. It is terribly, sourly pessimistic. I’m with Schopenhauer on this one, “life without pain has no meaning.”
You want to know the real reason your kid is turning into a hipster? The real reason he’s never going to get married, have a career, or develop any kind of a life til he’s past thirty? Because you wouldn’t let him, dumbass! High school wastes away our life by forcing us to “learn” dumbed down minutia and the correct method for taking tests, and nothing else. From birth children are told they can be whatever they want, and so are paralyzed by the sheer number of possibilities, never making any choices until well past the time they should have a career. You go through life doing what you’re told because no one expects you to be capable of self-reliance, and then when you get to college you’re supposed to pick a major! And you’d better not fuck up and choose the wrong one, or you’ll be in debt and have to go back through the process. Why on earth would anyone do anything when to do so requires you to pick a seemingly-random direction in a wide-open plain filled with landmines? And you’re not even sure there’s anything at the end of the path you’ve chosen. No wonder the youth of America has turned to irony, their very existence is ironic.
Twenzies are listless and directionless because they’ve never had a direction, their lives have been mapped out since birth by hyper-concerned parents scared out of their minds by shock-media and now they’re just supposed to make a life? Seriously, Baby-boomers, your expectations of this generation continue to be insane, excessive, and more than a little, ironic.
The inspiration for this post is a wonderful article by Rita Koganzon, which I implore you to read because it does a better job than I could ever hope to of deconstructing the idea of “emerging adulthood.”